DOROTHY vs ALICE: Princess Rap Battle (Emily Kinney, Ryan McCartan, Whitney Avalon) *explicit*


A portion of this video is sponsored by PopSockets Dorothy versus Alice Let the rap battle begin! When you look into the mirror I’m sure you’re distressed Your book borrowed my look You’re even wearing my dress I been rocking this game since before you were born This corny copy’s lost because she ain’t in Kansas anymore I’m surprised your garbage squad hasn’t fallen apart Yellow-bellied, empty-headed that one’s got no heart Double killers, caterpillars and a mad man in my crew Put you on blast, I gotta ask Who are you? Well, I’m Dorothy Gale and you’re on my street Not a good witch, I’m a bad bitch ruby kicks on my feet Quirky stupid chicks and nobody can stand ’em You’re that annoying girl shouting LOL I’m so random I got sense and sensibility like my girl Jane Austen Wreckin’ your tea party like they did back in Boston Word to your moms I’m dropping L. Frank Bombs Got more bars than Wonka More composed than Brahms Better say your prayers We’re your worst nightmares Keep dreaming, you’ll be screaming lions, tigers, and bears (oh my!) I’ve come to free the land from an olive hand A beginning, middle, end that even kids can understand In your sadness you wallow Talking rabbits you follow Put a bottle near your mouth you’re not thinking, you swallow I didn’t make the mold but I’m the one who broke it I’m the better heroine Stick that in your pipe and smoke it No place like home? You’re from a podunk prairie Ease on down the road ’cause shiz is gonna get scary What’s your battle plan? I don’t think you understand A coward, dolt, and bag of bolts can’t step to Wonderland Don’t make me light up your friend ’cause he’s met his match A stitched-together strawman that stinks like bandersnatch You’re washed up and washed out You’re fading and thus Click your heels together baby and bugger off to Kansas Who needs brains when you have this much swagger I don’t even gotta think and I got moves like Jagger I’m outstanding in my field while you have mental lapses Teaching crows how to murder with my lack of synapses Noggin stuffed with knowledge stitching rhymes so raw Throwing shade at Oz? Hay, that’s the last straw Let’s have a heart to heart you tart-stealing tart Alice, you’re so stupid you make me look smart Gimme that oil can so I can get loose I’m relaxing while I’m axing through your crew like a spruce I’m a ten out of tin the heavy metal playa hater I’m heartless and relentless like the fucking Terminator Got more joints than Snoop Sippin’ mock turtle soup Hell, I’m just blowing off steam like a chimney (toot toot!) I ain’t scared of shit ’cause I’m bulletproof Throw your hands in the air and raise this hot tin roof Let me at ’em I’ll tear ’em limb from limb Smack a hat off the whack job Make a snack of Tweedledim You fellas are all yella You ain’t got what I got With a paw behind my back I’ll tie you all up in a knot Outrageous and courageous that’s kinda my thing Bow down to the crown It’s good to be the king Scurry home with your friends Miss Little Bo Peep A lion doesn’t pay attention to the opinions of sheep You wanna step to this duo? ’cause we’re ready to battle Dee and Dum are down to frickin’ spank your ass like a paddle Beg and plead on your knees to the double trouble emcees and if you don’t like it you can tweedle deez These tale-telling twins are stopping, dropping, and rocking you Choppin’ and mockin’ Snicker-snack jabberwocking you Talk smack in our world it’s off with your head We go hard, pull your card and paint your chest red Today is my unbirthday and it’s not ’cause I hate ya Serving dishes and dissing ya ’cause I’m nutty by nature My writing desk riddle Can you tackle it quick? It makes no sense to rap against a raven lunatic She’d be a tea party crasher? This bastard haberdasher came to trash and slash and bash and put her pussy out to pasture I’m a dastardly villain like a riddling Dillinger Top billing in shillings This milliner’s killin’ her I keep my mug mean I keep my cups clean I’m the baddest maddest hatter that the world has ever seen Look at your face You’re so troubled, my dear! Of course our raps make you angry We’re all mad here Your sloppy story structure simply can’t be excused Just like the audience you spent your whole movie confused Our adventure had a point We found the man behind the curtain I would ruin your whole world but that’s been done by Tim Burton I’m slammin’ other damsels while I’m spittin’ so speedily Running rampant on these cowards that are dumber than Tweedledee We’re ferocious, fierce, and feisty You’re a sleepy little mouse Watch me smash and flatten bitches when I bring down the house Oh, my story’s nonsense? Yeah whatever, witch please You’ve got funky flying monkeys and apple-throwing trees This homewrecker in checkers hits her head then it stops Suddenly a bunch of runts start singing all about lollipops You’re as stupid as the scarecrow with only half of his charm This fool forgot these are the dudes that freaking lived on her farm You’re stressing cause you’re messing with a verbal giant, sweetie You want to pick on someone my size? Eat me Wonderland, eh? I’ll show them a rap battle (evil laughter) Thanks to PopSockets for sponsoring this portion
of the video I’m a chameleon, obviously and now my phone is too! I use these cool new swappable PopTops I can easily change them to go with my mood or an outfit or even a character Go to popsockets.com to check ’em out Who would you like to see rap battle? Please comment below Thanks for watching There’s gonna be a Wicked Witch battle too? Yes!

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