“I was drugged and raped, unfortunately, that’s how i lost my virginity” Former vixen recounts

my drink was spiked I just remember
struggles I was drugged and raped unfortunately, that is how I lost my
virginity I remember in college. I remember in college there was a group that often went out clubbing and i think out of desperation I was weak and I chose to
fit in the club coz okay I never used to drink alcohol but i liked hanging around them so as to fit in and be trendy So that I stop being a villager completely. And i remember i wanted to do music so i approached
several studios one said if you don’t have money you can’t record, another one said if we can see a past project we can’t really tell your value so there’s also another one who said you’re a shower singer, another said how bad do you want this? This is life just like
what do you mean? So he said if other artists have proven themselves and he was mentioning big names
and there was like should I really do this but from my Christmas compromising
sexually yeah yeah so it’s like a condition yeah how bad do you want this just let go I felt disappointed I didn’t
actually record so my music Journey at that particular time was hopeless cuz it
didn’t bear in the fruit I couldn’t compromise so i went back to those pals, and we started going out. Jam sessions club F2, i think. we went and started dancing i also joined in and decided to bust moves and i remember those days something happened I was just dancing it
and I remember just people create a circle I was like so this thing can also happen and bring something and i remember that time Redsan’s songs were trending and i was just yeah like a Shakira dancing on
it yeah and I was like why am i struggling to record “this is the deal”
do you know I tried now this is the plan B this is what I’m going to use
dancing to get to music you know so and i went back to the same studios but with a different offer like you guys I can dance for your video just give me kiddo
go and you can give is early and along the way indica cover home to commit my
celebrities traveling from yeah there and I remember I rebelled back as a
social etiquette Aquatech college yeah mica cop who drop out any was feeling
like New Mexico a passer-by remember I was being cautioned who see the club I’m
like miminum toe bamboo chassis cool for me and I’m like why we’re what sacrifice
of my heart panting eenie meenie minie I’m like who is the end of a butcher in
a mechanic dear my dear you know till I get a corner uniform like I was so
defensive I really I was so defensive
and so I didn’t record anything my vision was derailed
Lili Portilla for your entertainment and so I really thought my life was kicking
off but at one particular day I was just invited to a house party
those in LA gatta and there was told kunam Sonny and I come Tokyu ganda a big
one you can get an opportunity to be an international video vixen nose like I
was hesitant but I decided finally I’m gonna get a breakthrough when I got
there I didn’t see this big stop it was just drinking and smoking shisha we
didn’t the kind of things there I was seated because like I told you I had
principle of never drinking so I was just drinking my bamboo cha well later
on something along the way my drink was spiked I just remember struggles I was
drugged and raped unfortunately that is how I lost my
virginity it was it was tough I didn’t know who to blame I didn’t know whom to
talk to I woke up in that house alone no one was
there when I was leaving I saw two guys coming in they were like why you really
inside our house I was like yeah it’s like you thought no one was there I
called my friends the one we went way they told me you girl you disappeared we
don’t know where you wait as in like kill em to a music I mainly
talk about your story I was out there I don’t know whom to talk to because
what’s going well your Nana Mary Belle so many people blame me I blamed myself
I didn’t know what to do I didn’t know I should have gone to the police station I
was just dying in silence yes I went for medication I was given the pepper and I
thought gee I don’t have HIV I’m not pregnant
that’s okay but his months went by that is when the reality was hitting him that
is when psychologically I was trying our beginning to understand that it actually
happened because a kook wanna feel like shaking trauma naquan Valley like
Moscone I’m in my own world so started depression came in I started taking
drugs or smoking weed just to run away from everything but it wasn’t solving
anything so yeah it didn’t work I went into something they call post-trauma
stress disorder you are traumatized flashback no really
I don’t have that picture but it’s like ooh nosh to Pato who no no
so I was traumatized and I couldn’t take it any longer I really felt I have
there’s no hope in life either they felt they’d entity I thought I was looking
for it that is knowledge what I was looking for it’s not it because I am so
empty so finally I just decided I’m just going to commit suicide in and my life
yeah I also desperate I went and wrote my will what had happened yeah and I went to they do cos are
animals and a barn insects side to side I took consumed soon where I was saying
I really thought I was going today in peace because everybody was living for
work but I don’t know how God works there’s a Good Samaritan a lady who came
back in the house at around 9:00 you know she had left very early at 7:00
I’m like Kendra just be left today and peace I was already quick I don’t know
she just came and told me open this door I was like what is this I opened I don’t
recall any other thing I want little call myself and they I see you whenever
my eyes the doctors were there they doctor saying God loves you as like
what’s good good allowed me to go through these crazy
processes in life I’ve gone through rejection in high school now he had been
betrayed by friends not strangers and I was like what’s God they were talking
about doctors like you first minutes away from your dead like 97 of your body
was toxicated and I was like I really were feeling anything so I just yeah
like I was just I don’t care Sue’s day in the hospital and I remember
people just get admitted and leave me I was there for like two months
glad what is transmission in my body and I was like our tunnel to an end
mana God had me on yet Cellini pony you know God it was at that particular
time that I realized God wanted me to change my attitude and I told God if you
heal me I am going to turn my life around and I could sing seeing them
badly baba who carry benami and I just decided to know God in that while and
yes God healed me it just started off as a hobby and I realized that the best
careers are not chosen the best careers are discovered so I didn’t know what I
was doing us just sharing so when they make some missionaries from Netherlands
who had me talked to students and they told me you’re a great motivational
speaker I was confused you say which why the motivational speaker and I just
realized it’s a Korea yeah just somebody who encourages people so through the
journey in Kansas we talk from one place to another not sure why you did
something that I had before a living yeah so I registered
musician called favored meters so favored is the two English word meaning
faith forward faith forward so through the mentorship of organization I’ve been
able to reach out to quite a number of schools churches and I went doing
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